Sybil has reverted back to her normal, loving, patient self. The week after her period is usually the best week. We actually enjoyed two days of great, wild, monkey sex. Unfortunately, she has some kind of dermatitis on her leg. The doc put her on high dose antibiotics, so much for the fun. The fear of antibiotics interfering with her BCPs put a damper on things.
As I walk through life, I learn that I cannot expect Sybil to change herself. Some (all?) is beyond her control. I'm convinced that her monthly cycle plays havoc with her moods and personality. Men really don't get it. At least I don't. This woman with the qualities I wrote about above will become some kind of demoness at the flip of a switch. Anyway, like I said, I can't change or control her. It is incumbent on me to be the best husband I can be. I must take responsibility for my faults, and there are many.
I must become more attentive. I must become a better listener. I must be more patient. When Sybil is again in the middle of her other self, I must not allow myself to be pulled into situations. It may be a Herculean task, but I must strive for it.
Although I will never be a perfect husband, that cannot be an excuse. If Sybil will not see how different she can act (I have discussed it during calm days) and understand the strain it puts on our marriage, I cannot change that.
Hang on tight! It's going to be a bumpy ride!
The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven. The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis
4 comments:
Yeah, yeah. Getting older sucks the big one.
has she always been like this -- this bad, I mean, not just the bad week before her period?
You might suggest, next time she goes to the GYN for a yearly visit and pill prescription re-write, that she talk to the doctor about that and see about a different prescription. I don't do well on any pill, but one of them made me certifiably crazy for that same week each month. And no, I couldn't control it, even though I did realize what was happening. It was truly awe-inspiring, what those hormones could do to my mental well-being.
Do you mean CONFRONT her? Ha, ha. I will tell her my suspicions and ask her to talk to her Gyn. I have brought it up before and was met with some snarky comments. Of course, I waited until she was in her rage to talk to her about it. She might be in denial, but that doesn't absolve me of my responsibility.
All we can do is....Hope for better days!!!
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