tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post7961482568324638420..comments2024-01-24T02:58:22.937-08:00Comments on Foolish Mutterings: Sinking...aphronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02203237871375124185noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-20446147311586836142006-12-20T14:10:00.000-08:002006-12-20T14:10:00.000-08:00joe-
I do feel that nothing is good enough. The ...joe-<br /><br />I do feel that nothing is good enough. The goal posts keep getting moved. As for being "done", that is a good point. If she were <I>truly</I> done, then she would have started distancing herself.aphronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02203237871375124185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-6126245733058260812006-12-20T11:26:00.000-08:002006-12-20T11:26:00.000-08:00From my own experiences of a similar nature, my op...From my own experiences of a similar nature, my opinion would be, "it really doesn't matter" if you make the changes or not (fogetting for a momment if they are even possible).<br /><br />Most likely, when she is feeling "done" regardless of what you do change, she will seek and find the one thing you "missed" or create something new to be annoyed at.<br /><br />On a side note, usually a person who is "done" stops talking about being "done" So just keep that in the back of your head.The Hopeless Flirthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08834703619817581661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-13330799362990392912006-12-19T13:16:00.000-08:002006-12-19T13:16:00.000-08:00recovering soul-
Many here have recommended that ...recovering soul-<br /><br />Many here have recommended that book. I'll have to check it out. Thanks.aphronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02203237871375124185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-82076047168768018922006-12-19T12:26:00.000-08:002006-12-19T12:26:00.000-08:00One thing that has helped me is to understand my w...One thing that has helped me is to understand my wife's love languages. I still get it wrong a lot, but less than I used to (right honey?)<br /><br />There is a book called "The Five Love Languages" or something to that affect that may help you to put yourself in her shoes.Recovering Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14399363754265182865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-45595112733848653802006-12-19T07:47:00.000-08:002006-12-19T07:47:00.000-08:00Learning coping mechanisms is exactly what you nee...Learning coping mechanisms is exactly what you need, bro. . .Desmond Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07829959101276150279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-28955845120976107102006-12-19T07:16:00.000-08:002006-12-19T07:16:00.000-08:00all-
I appreciate you comments. While counseling...all-<br /><br />I appreciate you comments. While counseling is not totally dead for me, it is definite on life-support for us. Although I tend to be independent and unwilling to take advice (of course I am writing this blog), I am considering counseling for myself. If for no other reason, than helping me learn coping mechanisms.<br /><br />True to her namesake, Sybil is acting happy and normal. How does one know if one is bipolar?aphronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02203237871375124185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-77349551631010451092006-12-18T15:59:00.000-08:002006-12-18T15:59:00.000-08:00I also suggest counseling. If sybil won't go, the...I also suggest counseling. If sybil won't go, then just fall on the sword and say that it's so she can help YOU learn how to better communicate (the therapist will, of course, see that the problem is not entirely yourse).<br /><br />Honestly, I don't even understand what this argument / conversation was about. Your kid got in the car while Sybil was inside talking to somebody, and she got mad at you? I don't even understand what there is to be mad about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-31110327567865016122006-12-18T13:28:00.000-08:002006-12-18T13:28:00.000-08:00Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but...Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but counseling does sound like the way to go if you can get her to go with you.<br /><br />Other than that, I've got nothing for you. The more I read the more I realize that Sybil is way far over on the side of unreasonable even farther than I ever was, and I was pretty far over there for a while.Trueselfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04376379968984585345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-22453734296251389452006-12-18T12:57:00.000-08:002006-12-18T12:57:00.000-08:00Aphron, I tend to agree that counseling probably w...Aphron, I tend to agree that counseling probably would be very beneficial. You might ask her sometime if she is so very unhappy and is close to feeling "done" why she won't give counseling a try. It really is a small thing to do compared with staying miserable or leaving. It's not very fair to indicate that she is giving up on the marriage but refuses to do anything to make it better. If she is as miserable as she makes out, then I don't see how she can argue with a suggestion that might make her happier.Therese in Heavenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13607519856275927706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-4971443113423478732006-12-18T12:04:00.000-08:002006-12-18T12:04:00.000-08:00desmond jones-
It is very hard not to "check out" ...desmond jones-<br />It is very hard not to "check out" emotionally. Admittedly, that is one of the things Sybil berates me about. In fairness to her, I am, probably, emotionally stunted. The counseling thing may have to come about. The path we're on seems not to be working very well. Unfortunately, she totall against counseling.aphronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02203237871375124185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10837248.post-51708655673709664242006-12-18T11:57:00.000-08:002006-12-18T11:57:00.000-08:00Aphron, I honestly have no idea what to say. . .
...Aphron, I honestly have no idea what to say. . .<br /><br />'Necessary' tho the changes may be, the only way for you to make them is to become a mind-reader. Good luck with that.<br /><br />I don't know you or Sybil well enough to have any kind of 'realistic' appraisal of your situation, but you describe her as a kind of emotional terrorist. I really have no idea what I'd do in your shoes. Based on what I read in you blog, I can easily imagine myself 'checking out' of the relationship emotionally; not that that would be right, or wise, or helpful - it would probably be none of those things - but I can easily imagine myself doing it.<br /><br />You know, if she won't go to counseling w/you, maybe there is something to be gained from you going just on your own behalf. Because my friend, you need some help dealing with all this. Part of the trick would be finding a counselor who would respect your commitment to the marriage and wouldn't just tell you to bag it. . .Desmond Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07829959101276150279noreply@blogger.com