Monday, October 26, 2020

Ups and Downs


Normal ups and downs of life.  Curves are shallow. Less of them.

Ups and downs with a narcissist.  Curves are very sharp and there are more of them.

Life's ups and downs are normal.  We have periods of laughter and periods of anguish.  No one can escape this fact.  I think this a good thing because the bad stuff makes us appreciate the good stuff.  All we can do is try to minimize what we can and roll with the things that we cannot.

Life with a narcissist is never this.  The normal stress of life is compounded by periods of love bombing/idealization with periods of being discarded.  The dopamine from the love bombing phases is intense and really gets us to bond with these people.  That neurotransmitter brings on a feeling of well being.  This stuff really muddle our thinking and make us forget the pain the lows of the relationship.  There is no way anyone would stay with a narcissist for any length of time if it were not for the highs of the dopamine period.

One must be ever diligent about the extreme highs and extreme lows of the life with the narcissist and be prepared for them.  It is not about one; it is always about the narcissist's perception of one.  Very different thing.