Saturday, August 27, 2005

Something to chew on

In this post by doctor digger, he goes over what many men grapple with. Essentially, men have a hard time expressing how they feel. From an early age, men are taught to "suck it up." Emotional men are looked down upon by everyone. Since men cannot verbalize their needs, they rarely get met. Women do a very good job of verbalizing their needs, so their needs tend to take center stage.

What is the answer? I don't know. After twelve years of marriage, we have far from a perfect marriage. Actually, there are times I feel we are sliding backwards. I do know I love Wife, and I know she loves me. For now that has to be enough.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Loss of Innocence

Around 5:30 am Son #1 lost his innocence. As I was trying to exchange a dollar for a baby tooth, he awoke and caught me. This is going to be an interesting year for him and us. He enters sixth grade this year, and we all know the changes that occur this year. For now we will have to deal with not believing in the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, etc. He will become a little more cynical and little more jaded. The little boy will slowly disappear. I was hoping for a little more time.

BTW, if he ruins it for his younger siblings, he will be in a world of hurt! LOL!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I'm Still Here

It's been a whole week! It must mean things are going well with Wife and me. Well, they are. Got the kids registered and back into school, so things are really becoming hectic.

I'd like other's feedback on the issue of parenting styles. For instance, yesterday was the first day of school. As I was dropping off the children at their respective schools, I noticed the parents parking, getting out of their cars and walking their children into school. This was not just at the primary school, but also at the intermediate and middle schools. Heck, even today parents were still going in with their children. Personally, I understand going, if the child is in kindergarten and maybe first grade. However, by the time of third grade and beyond isn't it time to cut the chord? My parenting style may need a little bit of work: I, essentially, pushed my first grader out the car door, in order to get the other two to their schools (at each child's drop off I waited just long enough for them to get out and then I moved along).
Is it me or are parents coddling their children? Aren't kids allowed to fall down and scrape their knee? Aren't children allowed to fail? Today's parents are trying to be Uber-parents, and they produced stressed out kids.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

So Much to Do So Little Time

Light blogging for now...too busy with work and all.

Wife got her results on her biopsy yesterday. Everything is fine. Unfortunately, brother-in-law (also OB/GYN) wants to see her records to double check, so the pot keeps being stirred. Labs always have "false positives" on screenings, so no one will fall through the cracks. Developing...

Monday, August 15, 2005

Thank Goodness THAT Week Is Over

Last week was a long week for Wife and me. The kids were at my parents' house. Instead of taking advantage of a week with no kids, we decided to have a series of arguments. Everything, basically, centered around me not being sensitive to what she has to say, and her not being sensitive to what I have to say. In the end everything has worked out very well. We have made up (on a number of occasions :)). Hopefully, we have moved past the resentment we have built up with each other. We'll have to see. It is amazing how hard it is to keep little things from becoming a huge issue. Communication is a huge key, everyone knows it, but it is hard to stand back and not become defensive. It was being defensive that was causing a lot of problems for us. It is a shame that we wasted a whole week.

At the risk of sounding like a pig, it did not help that Wife was on her period. I still believe that one week out of the month I need to hide somewhere.

Also, her biopsy went well. We'll have to wait on the results.

Monday, August 08, 2005


Well, I let the day slip up on me. I was not vigilant enough to stay out of trouble. I set off another "discussion", yesterday. It started with an innocent comment about a singer on the radio. I mentioned to Wife a few weeks back that it might be interesting to see this particular singer in concert. He was coming to a city near us. She didn't really seem that interested; she did not know who he was. Well, I pointed him out to her on the radio a couple of times. Yesterday, he came on, and I pointed him out. She said, "I've never been to a concert." My response was, "Oh, really." Little did I know that this was my cue to ask her to go with me, and I, apparently, know so little about her that I didn't know this fact about her. I did know this fact, and I had not forgotten. She's not buying it. This "discussion" culminated in her telling me that I do not care about her, I rarely talk to her about anything substantive, I have not been worried enough about her upcoming biopsy (because I have not mentioned it to her), and she said that the end of love is when people stop trying.

Of that list, I will say that I have not been stressing out about her biopsy (she's going to have a cone biopsy tomorrow). She has a stage III reading on her pap smear. Stage IV is pre-cancer then next is cancer. I knew she was worried, but I wasn't because I felt she has a good doctor, it was caught in time, and it was not Stage IV or worse. With everything else going on, I relegated that towards a lower level on my list of worries. I know this was wrong. I should have been more attentive to her fears. I apologized, but like all of my apologies, she didn't seem to buy it. I am truly sorry for my mistake.

The other biggee on the list, not talking to her about anything substantive, I told her that I have tried only to be met with resistance. The example I used was an incident that occurred a few mornings back. I had purchased a new electric toothbrush. I was using it like a regular toothbrush: moving it all around instead of letting it do the work. She jumped out of bed and began yelling at me to use it properly. Anyway, when I brought up her yelling at me, she became defensive and said she was not yelling but talking in a sleepy voice. After me repeatedly telling her that I happen to know the difference between yelling and speaking in another tone, she finally gave a half-assed apology. Way to build highways of communication.

This morning, prior to leaving for work, she was still in bed. I kissed her on the cheek and apologized again for everything. The response was, "Whatever."

Monday, August 01, 2005

Why I Like People Less and Less as I Age

Survived the weekend. The kids had a swim meet this weekend, so it means total chaos and confusion. This meet is the largest in the area. There about 10 teams represented with about a 100 swimmers per team. It marks the end of the summer swim season. The kids did very well. Daughter's relay team made it to finals, so we had to go back on Sunday. Son #1 had to be at a week-long camp yesterday, also. Anyway, we arrive at the meet at ~7:15am (after getting up at 5:30am to get everyone ready). They have warm-ups, and then we sit. Now, the meet is so big that the only space is outside, under a tent. For seven hours we sit and wait for her event. Meanwhile, one of her teammates has not shown up. The mother is a real nutcase. Needless to say, she never showed, we were scratched for the event, and our Sunday morning/afternoon was a total bust. We barely got Son#1 to camp on time.

Before leaving the swimmeet, another parent comes up to me and offers her condolences. I'm in a terrible mood, so I growl my list of grievances. Wife is sitting there telling the parent that it is no big deal. This makes me madder. Now, on the ride to camp, I get an earfull about my rude behavior. I am informed that I was yelling at everyone in sight and especially at Wife. Although I know I did not yell, I apologize to Wife and I will (rightfully) apologize to the parent that spoke to me. However, I feel totally justified in being angry and, to some extent, voicing my anger. Not only was our day wasted, but also (and most importantly) our daughter did not get to swim in the finals and, possibly, get a medal.

The mother that never showed needs to apologize to the other 3 girls that where there and ready to swim. Of course, she won't. She is one of those people that the world owes her everything. I seem to be running into more and more of these people. Just because you draw a breath does not mean you are owed anything. A little COMMON COURTESY would have totally fixed the problem. If something comes up, call us. We tried to call you but could reach you. WTF?!?!? People!