The Saga Continues
Well, Sybil and I are stuck. She is stuck in a world of hurt and resentment. She feels that I "destroyed" her by ignoring her ask for help with the Christmas cards, and I ignored her by promising to confront my mother about my mother ignoring her (kind of a trend). I have apologized, I have tried to make amends, but to no avail. Apparently, my actions (or inaction) "destroyed" her.
During this period, Son #1 and Daughter where home from college until just a few days ago. There were many times that I would sit up with them, watch TV, and hang out. Sybil did not like that. She felt that I was ignoring her. Now, at no time was she not allowed to hang out with us. She wanted me to come upstairs and talk with her. In subsequent conversations, this did not mean a negative conversation, but I'm a little gun shy. Most of our conversations are negative because they revolve around my failings as a person and how it makes her feel.
This is where Sybil is: stuck. I am stuck because, while I understand Sybil's hurt feelings, my inactions do not raise to the level of "destroying" her. I did not beat her; I am not having an affair; I am not struggling with addiction; I did not go out and blow a bunch of money. Nope. All I did was get sucked into a TV show when she asked for help, and forget to confront my mother about Sybil being ignored. To still be having this cloud over us because of her feelings is not logical. I don't know how to break through and resolve things. I'm not sure it's possible. Sybil feels so badly that she is openly talking about divorce. Despite my pointing out that I didn't do anything that bad, and the devastation a divorce creates in a family. She is stuck. I have started a list of things to grab, if she kicks me out. I want to be able to get out within an hour or less. Since I am a minimalist at heart, I think this is achievable. I hope it does not come to that.
What are the reasons for divorce? Well, the Bible and my Christian faith say that only infidelity. Period. At no time is divorce allowed because one's spouse ignored them. In this blog I have documented a litany of things that could be construed as emotional abuse. If I were not a Christian and as sociopathic as Sybil thinks, I would have left at any time. However, I am neither. No where in the Bible does it say for one's spouse to make him/her happy. I am not bound to make her happy. I am commanded to love her as Jesus loves the church. That is it. While Sybil understands the basic tenets of Christianity and professes to be a Christian, I do not believe she truly understands the concept. I pray she will.