Tuesday, December 08, 2020

Interesting Take on Things

 As we all know by now, life with a narcissist can be a challenge.  Every. Single. Conversation. Is about them.  If the conversation isn't about them, be patient because it soon will be.  They will manipulate you to, somehow, get a reaction from you.  This will "recharge" their battery, as they are emotional vampires.

Over the years I have struggled with a very diminished libido.  A combination of age and stress with living with Sybil, have seemingly robbed me of desire.  Adding a lack of reciprocation on Sybil's part only seems to cement this downward spiral.  For example, Sybil loves attention that a back rub with lotion gives her.  In her mind the excitement and joy of my touching her is all that is needed to start my motor.  In reality, she does nothing to me: she does not touch me and while she is being administered to, she is looking at Fakebook.  Eventually, this leaves me empty and feeling like a schmuck.  These feelings add to my stress with Sybil.  Before anyone asks...I have told Sybil, but she chooses to continue.

I write this to set up last night's conversation.  I am so powerful that I can alter Sybil's biology.  See, we have not had sex in about 2 months.  This lack sex caused her monthly period to come early.  While she did not overtly say so, it is my fault.  I explained that possibly entering menopause may cause her periods to become irregular.  Instead of accepting even a modicum of responsibility, she claimed that entering menopause is from lack of sex (she's 49 years old).  Ridiculous does not begin to describe it.

I have the power to alter someone's physiology.  I am all powerful.  Sadly, the root cause will never be fixed: combination of age and stress kill any desire.  Sybil never wants to own any responsibility for her role in this situation.  She will never see that constant conflict, complaining, negativity, lack of respect, and just general lack of seeming to care only compounds the situation.  Same stuff different day.

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