Thursday, January 08, 2009

Control Continued...

I've just gotten around to trying to catch up on everyone's blogs. I just read Digger's latest post. He tends to be a very introspective person and is struggling to obtain more sex. He wrote:
Sexual leftovers is what every couple has when it comes to sex. Each person makes a list of what is too disgusting and perverted and then the other person makes their list and then you agree on the leftovers. That’s what you call compromise, right? But that leads to sexual boredom which leads to tension and eventual gridlock. At some point, the anxiety comes to a head and then has to be dealt with.


I'll be posting on this thought soon. It is very enlightening and ties in with my last post.

5 comments:

Bunny said...

Our leftovers leave us with 3-4 positions and no oral contact. I'm not fond of leftovers.

Anonymous said...

Boredom doesn't even begin to describe it. Or so I've heard :-(



'acters'. Hmmm

FTN said...

I've found there are ways to really enjoy sex, even with what seem like profound limits set. It sounds cliche, but it's important to have communication -- not just communication, but gentle, loving communication. Some of it, too, is working on a mindset of "loving and improving what I've got" rather than spending my time longing for certain things I might not have.

Weird, me being the positive one here. Don't get me wrong -- I still have plenty of days where I'm stuck in "longing for what I don't have" mode. But I've found that if I am positive and joyful and enthusiastic during sex, it'll be better (that's not shocking, I'm sure). If I start thinking "boredom," it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Trueself said...

I will admit I am fortunate in that our leftovers leave out very little. That being said it is still easy to suffer boredom if one allows things to get into a rut and always picks the same items from the menu even though they like the other items.

Phyllis Renée said...

I can see how they could be considered leftovers, but I'm discovering there are a whole lot of things I never even thought of before that are well within the mutually agreed upon perimeters.