Yep, like a bad penny, I keep popping up.
I got back home late Sunday night, but because of work and overall fatigue, I haven't posted until today. Sorry.
Sybil and the kids are still at her parents house and won't be home until Monday, so I've been livin' the dream of bachelorhood. Well, not really. Sybil can still reach out and touch me and does everyday. We've only had one argument on the phone. I'm sure that'll change when she comes back home.
Funny thing, my libido has come back with a vengeance. I wonder how long that will last? I'm feeling a little...er...anxious.
Nothing interesting to write about. Since this blog was a way to vent my frustrations brought on by my marriage, I have less to write about. With Sybil not around, I have nothing to blog about. I guess that means she is my source of excitement.
Sad.
The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven. The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I'm Outta Here!
I'll be gone until next Monday.
Sybil + traveling + her parents + kids + STRESS = a good blog post in the works.
Later.
Sybil + traveling + her parents + kids + STRESS = a good blog post in the works.
Later.
Monday, June 11, 2007
14
years of marriage. Sybil and I celebrated our fourteenth anniversary yesterday. Who would have thought.
Ahh, I remember it well.
We were in grad school. She had not been feeling well. I told her she was pregnant and needed to get tested. She thought no it was a only a stomach thing. So one month later, we are at a Planned Parenthood place to get her tested. Yep, she's pregnant. Now, Sybil will say I took her to an abortion clinic to get tested. Although it was an abortion clinic, I took her to a place that offered free testing. We were poor students with no health insurance.
After much soul searching, I asked Sybil, "Well, do you wanna?" I know. I'm a hopeless romantic. We went to the court house and got married on the anniversary of the judge, who had also gotten married by a judge. For our reception dinner, we went to Wendy's. We topped it off with a Frosty. The next day we drove across the state for our honeymoon. Sybil had morning sickness the WHOLE TIME. It rained.
We've survived a lot: 3 unexpected pregnancies (she's Catholic...that's my story and I'm sticking to it), stress of grad school, poverty, success, etc.
I blogged about all of the crap I put up with with Sybil. I'm not truly over it, yet. However, I'd rather have to deal with her crap than learn someone else's. When someone here asks why don't I divorce her, it's rather simple: I love her.
Damn it.
Ahh, I remember it well.
We were in grad school. She had not been feeling well. I told her she was pregnant and needed to get tested. She thought no it was a only a stomach thing. So one month later, we are at a Planned Parenthood place to get her tested. Yep, she's pregnant. Now, Sybil will say I took her to an abortion clinic to get tested. Although it was an abortion clinic, I took her to a place that offered free testing. We were poor students with no health insurance.
After much soul searching, I asked Sybil, "Well, do you wanna?" I know. I'm a hopeless romantic. We went to the court house and got married on the anniversary of the judge, who had also gotten married by a judge. For our reception dinner, we went to Wendy's. We topped it off with a Frosty. The next day we drove across the state for our honeymoon. Sybil had morning sickness the WHOLE TIME. It rained.
We've survived a lot: 3 unexpected pregnancies (she's Catholic...that's my story and I'm sticking to it), stress of grad school, poverty, success, etc.
I blogged about all of the crap I put up with with Sybil. I'm not truly over it, yet. However, I'd rather have to deal with her crap than learn someone else's. When someone here asks why don't I divorce her, it's rather simple: I love her.
Damn it.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
"Knocked Up" a Movie Review
I don't usually do movie reviews, but Sybil and I caught Knocked Up last night. For those of you that don't know what it's about, the story revolves around a woman, Alison, that becomes pregnant from a one night stand. She tells the man and hilarity ensues. This movie struck pretty close to home because it a lot of similarities to what Sybil and I went through.
Although our first born is not the product of a one nighter (we had been dating for about 6 months), we weren't married nor prepared for her pregnancy. At first blush, one might think that I would most identify with the Ben, the man involved in the one nighter. He is a happy go lucky kind of guy. He is sailing through life rudderless. His main objective is to smoke dope and run a website that tracks nude scenes. However, as the movie unfolded I found myself identifying with Pete. Pete is Alison's brother-in-law. We learn that Pete and Debbie (Alison's sister) also "had to get married." The audience sees Pete and Debbie as two over-achieving persons. However, there is a lot of tension and conflict between Pete and Debbie. They are what Alison and Ben fear becoming. The line uttered by Debbie: "You criticize them a lot, and they get so down on themselves that they're forced to change." reveals her philosophy about being married to Pete. Debbie soon becomes convinced that Pete is having an affair and sneaks into the house where he is and confronts him. I won't give it away.
The rest of the story is typical. Alison and Ben have a baby and live happily ever after.
The reason I wanted to write about this movie is the relationship of Debbie and Pete. It struck very close to home. Debbie is a controlling harpy and Pete is a spineless noodle. Pete chooses conflict avoidance and turns to sneaking out of the house to get away from Debbie. Although it is apparent that Pete and Debbie love each other, they are doomed for marital struggle. Kind of like Sybil and me.
Sybil's constant barrage of criticism mixed with my tendency towards conflict avoidance is a volatile mixture. Instead of trying to be a little laid back and trying to accept each other for how we are, Sybil and I are constantly butting heads. When she gets on a roll, there is no stopping her. After a while I find myself wanting to tune her out. Since her main pet peeve is not being listened to, this only exacerbates the problem. Round and round we go.
If you want insight into my marriage, watch this movie. However, don't focus on the main story line. Instead, focus on the subplot as marriage is examined. Although this movie earned its "R" rating, it is a very funny movie. If you like 40 Year-Old Virgin, then this movie is right up your alley.
Although our first born is not the product of a one nighter (we had been dating for about 6 months), we weren't married nor prepared for her pregnancy. At first blush, one might think that I would most identify with the Ben, the man involved in the one nighter. He is a happy go lucky kind of guy. He is sailing through life rudderless. His main objective is to smoke dope and run a website that tracks nude scenes. However, as the movie unfolded I found myself identifying with Pete. Pete is Alison's brother-in-law. We learn that Pete and Debbie (Alison's sister) also "had to get married." The audience sees Pete and Debbie as two over-achieving persons. However, there is a lot of tension and conflict between Pete and Debbie. They are what Alison and Ben fear becoming. The line uttered by Debbie: "You criticize them a lot, and they get so down on themselves that they're forced to change." reveals her philosophy about being married to Pete. Debbie soon becomes convinced that Pete is having an affair and sneaks into the house where he is and confronts him. I won't give it away.
The rest of the story is typical. Alison and Ben have a baby and live happily ever after.
The reason I wanted to write about this movie is the relationship of Debbie and Pete. It struck very close to home. Debbie is a controlling harpy and Pete is a spineless noodle. Pete chooses conflict avoidance and turns to sneaking out of the house to get away from Debbie. Although it is apparent that Pete and Debbie love each other, they are doomed for marital struggle. Kind of like Sybil and me.
Sybil's constant barrage of criticism mixed with my tendency towards conflict avoidance is a volatile mixture. Instead of trying to be a little laid back and trying to accept each other for how we are, Sybil and I are constantly butting heads. When she gets on a roll, there is no stopping her. After a while I find myself wanting to tune her out. Since her main pet peeve is not being listened to, this only exacerbates the problem. Round and round we go.
If you want insight into my marriage, watch this movie. However, don't focus on the main story line. Instead, focus on the subplot as marriage is examined. Although this movie earned its "R" rating, it is a very funny movie. If you like 40 Year-Old Virgin, then this movie is right up your alley.
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