An Answer to Anon

I really appreciate comments here.  I know I do not have the traffic that I used to have, which is fine.  The thing that I really appreciate are the people pointing me into directions that I need to go.  Like a lot of folks living with a PD person, I am isolated.  The isolation creeped up until I realize that I am pretty isolated.  Without these comments I would not have gone down the rabbit hole of PDness.  I would have known something was not quite right between Sybil and me, but I would have allowed myself to be gaslighted (and isolated) into believing that most of the problem was me.  Thankfully, these blessed commentors helped me find the resources to coping with Sybil.

On my last post, Anon wrote:

I'm just curious, what kind of Mother-in-law do you predict her to be...?

I have been wondering about that for awhile.  As we have two weddings within the next year, I am curious about that too.   I do not really know.  However, I can make some pretty educated guesses.  With our kids, Sybil has worked to try to keep them as close as possible.  While the oldest has a good job in our town, she has him living in our basement to save money.  Superficially, that seems logical (save money for a house), but I wonder if she needed one more person to defer to her.  In order to get her work done on weekends, she puts pressure on the kids to help with the 4 yo.  That is a whole other post.  Lastly, the 3rd child came home with the news that one of his professors may be able to help him get an internship at a National Laboratory.  Her comment was not, "Wow! That is great."  It was more, "That's too far away."  Really took the wind out of his sails.  I tried to tell him to go for it.  We'll see.

I fear that she will be meddlesome.  Sybil has stated that she will not, but I know that she likes control and is opinionated.  Hopefully, I am wrong.  Hopefully, she will learn to give advice when asked but not nag or cajole.  I know that she will not be able to hold her tongue, and she will be letting me know her thoughts over and over, ad nauseum.  I had hopes that the kids would move away to get away from her. I tried to encourage them to move away.  I made statements about moving overseas whilst they are young, or go wherever the jobs are, or it's ok to move away.  Fate or Sybil seem to have other plans.

No matter what happens, I know that Aphron will be the one in the middle.  I will be expected to bear the brunt of her frustrations, be expected to sooth her, and be expected to tell the kids that they are making mother angry.