Open Letter to Single Men

For those men, who are single, let me say this: Stay that way. Although I believe in the sanctity of marriage, the reality can be a bitch. Today's marriage is tough. What is in it for a man to be married? Let's try to sort this out.

Free sex. That is the biggest lie out there. For one thing there is nothing free about it. Everything that a man owns is now 50% his spouse's. Ms. Ireland of the NOW may have been on to something to say that marriage is legalized prostitution. Also, the amount and the quality of the sex decreases. In all fairness this not directly related to the wife. When children enter the picture, there is more stress and less time. Suddenly, the carefree sex life is gone. No more fooling around in the middle of the day. Both spouses tend to work outside of the home. This creates even more stress. Ask anyone what stress does to your libido. It usually snuffs it out.

Companionship. Bullshit. Stewart Copeland of the Police said it best that "every girl I go out with becomes my mother in the end." This only becomes worse when married. That wonderful woman becomes a harpy. The nagging never stops. The making a federal case out of every situation escalates. This creates tension and stress in the marriage. See above as to what happens next.

Children. Although I love my kids and cannot imagine life without them, this is really the only reason to be married and stay married. I still cling to the notion that two parents are better than one or a village. Children are a joy and a blessing. If one is going to have children, then raise them and make their upbringing central to your life. Once a couple has children, the issue of divorce becomes very sticky. Of my friends, the ones from divorced families tend to have the most issues. I do not believe in divorce, when children are an issue.

In closing, hear me, when I talk about marriage. In theory it is a wonderful thing. However, in practice it can be a living hell. If you choose not to heed my advice, then woe be it unto you. From a man's point of view, marriage's stereotypes are totally true. Look around at the men who have been married for any length of time. They typically live in their wife's shadow. They will have that 1000-yard stare. These men are nothing but a hollow shell of their former selves.