I actually have time to blog but have little to say.
I haven't seen much of Sybil today. She made this Thursday her spa day, since I now work every 2nd and fourth Thursday. She doesn't want me to ruin it because of what happened last time. That was six weeks ago. That's Sybil: memory like an elephant.
It's just as well. She would probably figure out a way to keep me from going home. Since Sunday, I've been home before 9:00pm once. Sybil has managed to schedule enough stuff to keep us on the go. This way she has an excuse to have no food, the house to be trashed, and not have to cook. What were we doing? Mainly she (that means we) was preparing for a church program. Now, I try to lead a Christian life. I do come up short in many aspects (usually temptations of the flesh but that's a post of a different day). Being at work all day and then helping setup for a program until late is tiring. Yeah, I'm a little snarky. It's like "let's see how much stuff we can cram into a day." Even the kids are worn out. Sybil must understand that it will get done.
That's life with a perfectionist. Sybil believes that whoever does it will not do a good enough job. A perfectionist is an unhappy person becuase they aren't good enough. They will put a tremendous amount of pressure on themselves. In doing so, they will put a tremendous amount of pressure upon those closest to them. A perfectionist never realizes in the end, that we are all "shadows and dust." Now, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but what is more important? How well a crab costume looks or spending quiet, quality time with the family?
Anyway, that's all I had to say. More than I expected.
The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven. The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis
9 comments:
Ahhh, details. That is the problem with Sybil. Life is about the details.
Maybe she spends so much time concentrating on things "outside of the family" because she feels like a failure for things "inside of the family". Sort of like projecting success?
So gone-
Interesting observation. I do think she feels like a bit of a failure at home. Instead of trying to improve that area she does something else. I'll think on that one.
c-marie-
Sacrifice is ok, if others are willing to sacrifice. Some things have to be done now, but many others can wait. Other people can take up the slack.
I used to be a perfectionist. A perfectionist that drove anybody and all away...but mine was all because I never felt good enough. I was trying to live up to unrealistic expectations I had for myself. If I finally pleased myself, maybe I could finally please someone else.
Looking back on those years I realize how much time I wasted. Time wasted not loving myself for who I am and letting others do the same.
Imperfections in myself have always been the hardest ones to get over. Thank god I finally found my way.
Is this post for me??....LOL....I'm just messing with you.....I can see your side and hers.....you both just have to give alittle and come together....I know I know she want give....ughhhhh!!!
200th post party at my place!!!
Have a great day!!!
April-
I realize perfectionists deal with their insecurities by being perfect. Of course, no one can be perfect. The problem some have is that they forget that not everyone else is a perfectionist.
Lori-
I'll bring the chip and dip.
I know it can be easy to get caught up in church stuff and feel the need to be there every time the doors are open. Although my wife and I both enjoy the stuff we do, it can be easy to overdo it.
I've also discovered that "quality family time" can be hard to define. If we actually have an evening at home, it's easy to fall into the trap of having the kids play by themselves, putting them to bed, and then watching TV. That's not really quality family time to me. Sometimes it can be easier to get out of the house and go somewhere together, whether it's just a park or wherever. Then we HAVE to actually spend time together.
ftn-
I know that trap, too. It occurs because we are so exhausted by the fire we get home, we'll just "vege" out. With 3 kids involved in everything from Scouts to baseball, we keep MAD's in business. My idea of a family vacation was squelched by Sybil as being too stressful for her. for Memorial Day we're going camping for a couple of days so that should help.
"fire" should here been "time"
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