Monday, November 05, 2007

Marriage, Toughest Job You'll Ever Love?

It's been awhile, so I guess I should post something.

I once wrote that I needed to post something negative about myself, instead of focusing on Sybil's negatives. So you will be treated to a bit of introspection.

  1. I tend to focus on something to the exclusion of everything else. If I am reading a book, I will close myself off from everything else. Since Sybil is not a reader, she gets very annoyed, whenever I am. This makes her feel ignored (a VERY big pet peeve).
  2. Daydreaming. I daydream. I can get a little spacey. This causes me to miss parts of conversations. By missing parts of conversations, I miss important information.
  3. I have problems with people telling what to do. A case in point happened last Thursday evening. I am putting the dishes away from the dishwasher. We have these plastic cups that we got from restaurants for our kids. Naturally, they are different sizes. I placed a smaller cup into a larger cup. Sybil did not like that and asked me to keep the sizes together. This rankled me. A fight ensued because I refused to be told how to stack plastic cups.
  4. As demonstrated here, I have a fear of confrontation. I have a real fear of the emotions that go along with confrontation. I am afraid of what the end result might be.
These are just scratching the surface. However, these problems can and have caused real problems between Sybil and me. The first two alone account for an estimated 85% of our arguements. I seem unable to improve on them. It, defintely, keeps things interesting.


Sai Hijara - Ferraris said...

well, I have those issues too...but then, for me those were very academis I should say to cause gaps in relationships, especially once we started knowing the person...those things shouldn't matter much anymore...

aphron said...

Well, I think they shouldn't matter so much, but Sybil has other ideas. Everything matters with her. She would even agree to that. That is what makes us so different. We agree on a lot of things. That is a major area where we will never agree.

FTN said...

It seems like the first two, or at least #1, would be easier to "improve on" than the last two. I'd think most wives would get upset when they feel they are being ignored that way.

aphron said...

I know that Sybil's one major pet peeve is to feel ignored. It takes a lot of effort to maintain focus and not let my mind wander. I've improved, but there are occasions when I back slide.