According to PubMed Health NPD "is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves." The article goes on to list a multitude of symptoms. In the article, Sybil does not really fit into that list, except with "react to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation", "need constant attention or admiration" (at least the constant attention part), and "disregard the feelings of others (namely mine), and have little ability to feel empathy." Sybil may have "unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment". That one is less sure. Therefore of the 10 symptoms listed, Sybil has, possibly, four.
Again, according to PubMed Health BPD is a condition in which people have long-term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions, such as feelings about themselves and others. This condition has the hallmark of shifting perceptions of others. Much more emotional turmoil. Other symptoms that Sybil has are "frequent displays of inappropriate anger" and "intolerance of being alone (of which this has greatly improved over the years)". The shifting emotions thing is a big red flag for me. I call her "Sybil" in this blog for a reason.
After studying both of these conditions, it is possible that Sybil has a bit of both. There are times she has definite NPD: only worries about time when it affects her, not taking account anyone else's feelings, wanting to be pampered, yet not pampering others. There are times she shows herself to BPD: fluctuating emotions, shifting perceptions of me. After many months of contemplation, I believe that Sybil has traits for both conditions. I doubt that she would be diagnosed with either, or she may be diagnosed with a mild form. The problem with both of these conditions is that it is hard for someone to be diagnosed and seek help.
It doesn't really matter if Sybil has NPD or BPD. Maybe she's just batshit crazy?!? At the end of the day, I have to learn coping mechanisms. Fortunately, the kids get to leave. I often wonder if they will ever come back to visit.
Again, according to PubMed Health BPD is a condition in which people have long-term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions, such as feelings about themselves and others. This condition has the hallmark of shifting perceptions of others. Much more emotional turmoil. Other symptoms that Sybil has are "frequent displays of inappropriate anger" and "intolerance of being alone (of which this has greatly improved over the years)". The shifting emotions thing is a big red flag for me. I call her "Sybil" in this blog for a reason.
After studying both of these conditions, it is possible that Sybil has a bit of both. There are times she has definite NPD: only worries about time when it affects her, not taking account anyone else's feelings, wanting to be pampered, yet not pampering others. There are times she shows herself to BPD: fluctuating emotions, shifting perceptions of me. After many months of contemplation, I believe that Sybil has traits for both conditions. I doubt that she would be diagnosed with either, or she may be diagnosed with a mild form. The problem with both of these conditions is that it is hard for someone to be diagnosed and seek help.
It doesn't really matter if Sybil has NPD or BPD. Maybe she's just batshit crazy?!? At the end of the day, I have to learn coping mechanisms. Fortunately, the kids get to leave. I often wonder if they will ever come back to visit.
5 comments:
Always seems so wrong, and frustrating, and whatever, when we have to learn coping skills to counter/live with someone that can't, won't, see how difficult it is for people around them.
As for the kids, when they move out-maybe you'll get to go visit them- without Sybil!
How close are your kids to moving out?
I could easily imagine myself in your shoes, waiting for the kids to move out, then separating (and I don't believe in divorce any more than you do. . .), just for my own sanity. . . But please don't construe that as anything approaching 'advice'. . .
"Maybe she's just batshit crazy. . ."
Ain't no 'maybe' about that. . .
'Maybe she's just batshit crazy. .'
Maybe, indeed. fair warning, she sounds incredibly like my former SIL. The one who left BigBrother. And hiked up tens of thousands in debt in his name in the years leading up to ditching him. Just a couple years before the kids were out of the home.
I think it comes down to control. Although there may be a little "Stockholm Syndrome" involved, Sybil gets like this when SHE is not in control of the situation. Her anxiety level ratchets up big time.
Not easy.
I think it comes down to control. Although there may be a little "Stockholm Syndrome" involved, Sybil gets like this when SHE is not in control of the situation. Her anxiety level ratchets up big time.
Not easy.
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