|We need a minesweeper. There's too many triggers under the surface.|
Well, I struggle to find time to do videos. It is still something that I am noodling about. For now, y'all will have to content yourself with the written word. Personally, I like that better than a video anyway, but I'm a Gen Xer.
Beware...rambling post as I unpack stuff.
We've all got 'em, I guess. Per PyschCentral an emotional trigger is:
A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.I think that most of us have past traumas that never really healed. For Sybil, her reaction to a trigger is the fault of the "offender" instead of realizing that, maybe, the other person did not mean to set her off. Exhausting having to dodge mines that laying under the surface. Naturally, this creates a daily drama.
I have slacked off on posting. Not because the drama is less but because it wearisome. Plus, I'm not sure how many want to read it. We don't make any progress. I find myself stuck in the same rut because I have end up saying the same things just so I can escape the conversation and get on with my life. Literally, could post something everyday. It is rare that a day goes by without some sort of manufactured drama.
I will say that anytime a person says that they are emotional and wear their emotions on their sleeve: run! That is an indicator that their emotions control them rather that vice-versa. A normal, mature person realizes that and takes that into account. A child blames their emotional acting out on the person doing the triggering.
The fun begins when the conversation goes down a dark rabbit hole because the triggered cannot let it go. When I explain (I am really trying to limit JADEing...I really am) why I said what I did, it does not good. Sybil must keep going. We have to dissect the simplest conversation until I am just trying to say the right words to escape not the just the conversation but also the room.
This is life with the disordered. I am like a police negotiator trying to talk the jumper off the ledge. All because Sybil becomes very triggered if she believes that she has been ignored, or marginalized.
Anyway, triggers. Great fun.
Is this the way couples are? Are they mired in this slog? Are issues and slights never resolved? Is the job of one to always try to correct the other? Criticize? I don't know anymore. I am starting to believe I am that hostage that starts to empathize with his captors.
I try to NOT to put Sybil on a Profit/Loss sheet. I try not make a listing of her good points and bad; I know that if I do, it will not end well.