So it's winter time, almost. The temperatures are pretty chilly even for our area.
This morning Sybil and I are trying to leave to go to the office. Son #3 wakes up right before we need to leave. Since he's two, that is a problem. Daughter is there to help, but the boy loves his mother. I tell Sybil that'll go start my vehicle to get it warm for her and she can sneak out when able.
I go to the vehicle and get it started. The temp is 33 degrees. I cannot go back inside because we are trying to sneak away from Son #3. I decide to sit in the vehicle while it warms up. I figure the odds that Sybil can get away are about 65 to 35 against. After waiting about 10 minutes, Sybil manages to come out the front door. I move the vehicle closer so she can get in without having to manage with the edge of drive way. Her first comment is my not have the seat warmer on for her. The second time she made that comment, I told her I made the whole vehicle warm.
Apparently, Sybil had time to think on the way to the office. As soon as we were in the warmth of the building, she let me know how I failed. I didn't have the vehicle positioned correctly (so Son #3 could not hear), I did not have seat warmer on, and I did not get her bag. I explained that those issues seem to totally negate the fact that I sat in a cold vehicle for 15 minutes. 1 told her that there is no point in trying to do something nice for her because she will find a way to turn it into a negative.
The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven. The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis
3 comments:
Her bag is her bag
Her seat is her seat
#3 will live
And yet, I know your struggle. Queenie was once all that and more, then something changed. And now her world is different. And mine as well. But it had to come from her, there was nothing I could do and it seems there's nothing you can do beyond pointing out the glaringly obvious ...
It's exhausting. I don't broach the problem and avoid conflict. Y broach the problem but I do it in a cold manner. Moving the goal posts. I doubt Sybil will ever understand her role in the problems, despite my pointing them out. She is a very intelligent but horribly unaware person. This will not end well. Having said that, I will not be the one to end it.
Well, hopefully-soon-to-be-ex son in law is/was very similar. Spent 3 years detailing every manufactured offense Oddkin committed, even being stupid enough to share them with us. You can't fix it but what is it you're teaching the children by letting them witness this? Yes, separation and divorce will be hard on them, but is it really profitable to teach them that this is somehow a tolerable situation? Particularly when you already know that this is ugly followed by an even uglier end?
She has shown her cards, 'served' you even if it's not necessarily legal. It has already begun whether you choose to participate or not. I would urge you to take what you have been given and move forward.
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