The Aftermath

Well, it seems we have made up? Everything is right as rain, now. The more I think about everything that has happened, the more I come to the conclusion that I'm dealing with a sort of Cybil. Three weeks out of the month she is awesome. She is caring, devoted, understanding, patient, etc. That fourth week is hell week. I mentioned this to her. Of course, that was an absurd statement. I mean, if I had only done what see was thinking (my psychic powers were on the fritz), none of this would have happened. I have communicated how I feel ad nauseum. It comes back to me being the problem and she being the victim.

The first time we had sex after the fight I really wanted to hurt her, to make her sorry (I didn't just wanted to). This is nothing like me. We are back to the three weeks. She is back to being patient, etc. I'm also back to barely getting any. In May we probably had sex twice. Usually she is too tired. Now, before anyone says I should communicate, I have expressly told her how I feel. To no avail. Yet, I must be the one to change to make her happy. It is all very depressing. So now I am posting on a blog. Talking to my wife seems to be getting me nowhere. She does not take my feelings seriously, because she sees me as the one causing the problem. Damnit, I am only half of the equation here!