Well, Saturday was the day we tried to get past what happened the other day (see post below). Although we had talked about what happened some Friday morning, I thought it was over. I made a snarky comment, she called me on it, I apologized, and that was that. Right...uh, not exactly. Saturday was the day we had to hash things out. It seemed Friday was too quick and too easy. After I came home from working all morning Saturday, we got into it. We had verbal fencing with me continuing to apologize for a comment that I thought, while adolescent, was made in a moment of frustration and weakness and her wanting to make sure I understood that.
Apparently, Wife had been carrying some deep resentment towards me for something that happened a while ago (several months). See, she generally does not like oral sex to be performed on her. Although it feels good to her, Wife is very selfconscious about hygiene, etc. Despite my best efforts to the contrary, she continues this opinion. Unfortunately, I LOVE to perform oral sex on her. She, definitely, does not have any problems down there. Anyway, one night I was a bit too aggressive in that department. She became pissed off and stopped the love making session right there. I apologized and changed my behavior by not forcing the issue since. She admits that I have been on my best behavior since. However, she still feels the need to keep her guard up. She feels that she cannot trust me.
So after many hours of discussion of what I thought was a rude comment made by me, her anger was probably not due to my comment but actions done many months ago. I still do not understand her hang-up on receiving oral sex (she allows it sometimes), but I will accommodate her wishes. So far everything seems to be back on track. The real test comes tomorrow and the following days because we are going to visit her family. This usually proves to be a stressful situation.
The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven. The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis
2 comments:
I'll be anxious to hear how this out-of-town excursion went.
To answer Tajalude's comment: it's because men who love giving oral are the nice guys. And women who like oral sex don't seem to be attracted to nice guys. They are attractive to mean guys who are self-confident, cocky and generally selfish.
The last time I gave oral sex was the night after we got married 9 years ago. She doesn't like to be "licked." Any woman who puts it that way, it destined to not like oral. FWIW, previous lovers liked my oral attentions. Enough to wake the neighbors.
D.
I'll post later about the out of town excursion.
I will never understand the hang up with oral sex. I admit to being totally enamored with it. The fact that I get very little of it, only makes things worse. It boils down to hang ups, which I am finding out to be a very powerful thing. This is her hang up. It also my, in a way, hang up.
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