Taming the Shrew?

The saga continues with Lil' Bro. His pending divorce has my household in an uproar. Although I think he is being a total jerk, that is his and his wife's business. Wife, unfortunately, does not see it that way. She wants my parents to go in with a heavy hand and talk some sense into the boy. She cajoles me into calling him and emailing him. All for the sake of his two year old son. The problem is I agree with her. Divorce should be "weapon" of last resort. He chose not to do that. He chose to leave his wife and child.

The problem is my parents. They have spoken with Brother and let him know they against his decision. That is not good enough for Wife. She wants them to harangue him until he understands and changes his ways. The one thing that is constant in my family is stubbornness. Brother will not change his mind. If anything, it will strengthen his resolve. I know that, parents know that, Wife refuses to see that. So I am in the middle. I'm the one that gets to bear the brunt of her anger and frustration for a situation that will not affect us one iota. I have explained that to her. I have explained that my talking to Brother will not change his mind. Unfortunately, I am weak, when it comes to Wife. After two phone conversations and two emails, Brother writes back to say he will be spending Thanksgiving with other people. Great! A few days later I get an email from my parents saying I hurt Brother's feelings and to lay off.

The frustrating thing is Wife. She refuses to let it go. She chooses to continue to beat the dead horse. I tell her over and over, ad nauseum, that my parents will not intercede. They, rightfully to some degree, see Brother as an adult living his own life. I feel we should have spoken to Brother once or twice and then let him lie in the bed he made. Wife refuses to back down. I'm sure this will only add to the resentment she already feels towards Mother. The fundamental problem is mine and Wife's upbringing was very different. Parents did not confront Brother and I too much, whereas, her family would have loooong conversations about every single problem. Wife expects my family to suddenly go from closed and non-confrontational to suddenly open and confrontational. She refuses to see that the scorpion never changes.

I thought that moving far away from the family would insulate me. Wrong.