Friday, April 21, 2017

Are Narcissistic PDs Negative?

 Are Narcissistic Personality Disordered people negative?  Do they tend to see negativity everywhere they go?  Do they cast a pall over everything?

Sybil seems to only want to see the down sides to everything.  Everything is the end of the world.  The more something is outside her control, the more anxiety she feels over it.  Is it because she feels that the spot light is not shining on her?  Is that the way she can shine the light back on her?

We all have our moments of self-doubt and anxiety over situations.  Sybil tends to way over-react to them.  Example: for Son#3 we have a video monitor for his room.  We can watch him all of the time (kind of creepy...but that was not the hill on which I wanted to die).  I dropped the monitoring unit and broke it.  An accident.  Yes, it would cost us some money, but the reaction I got from Sybil was way over the top.  She came unglued and ranted how I put us in the poor house.  Ironically, she dropped the new monitor months after the incident and nary a peep.

I think NPDs need to feel the calming warmth of control.  They feel a lot of anxiety over situations that are out of their control.  That is one of Sybil's defining traits is the need to be in make sure every contingency is allotted for.  In doing so, she can "pat herself on the back" for doing a job well.  The lack of control speaks to her deep seated insecurity.  Her insecurity inflames her anxiety to the point of her not sleeping and being difficult with which to live.  Being in control, is like a warm blanket to snuggle in.  This explains Sybil's dislike of adventurous activities, even roller coasters.

Or maybe I'm too much of a Polly Anna.


At 4/21/2017 09:09:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Indeed yes, YESSSSS, I do believe absolutely that that 'glass-half-empty', pessimistic, Eyore outlook on life is part and parcel of the Personality Disordered's world perspective. At the core they are deeply unhappy, very ungrounded people -- chock full of chronic self-loathing and deep seated insecurities about who they themselves are. If one's core is hollow, insecure and wounded like that, he or she will only be able to look upon the world through a disordered lens of bitterness, victimhood, dissatisfaction and envy. That's all there is to it.

Now, I just want to throw something else out here for your consideration. Not trying to muddy up the waters or anything, but..., as we know, Personality Disorders are very complex psychological conditions, for which, I do believe, there can be a lot of overlap and mixing in-between the various PD categories. As such, a person can be diagnosed as one PD category, along with co-morbidities, traits of and expression of another (As in "Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic Expression", for example). I'm asking you to google and look closely into "Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder", or "OCPD". REMEMBER, and this is a very important point, we are NOT, and I repeat *NOT*, talking about OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). These are actually two VERY different psychological conditions -- which a lot of folks don't understand at first because they sound so very similar. I myself confused the two for years..., BUT, in actuality OCPD is NOT the same at all as OCD -- so please be sure to make the distinction in your searches.....

At 4/21/2017 09:09:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, now with that important distinction made, back to OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive *PERSONALITY* Disorder). Folks afflicted with OCPD are what you would call the ultimate control freaks. The OCPD takes the idea of "Perfectionism" to a whole new level. In fact the big difference between OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive *PERSONALITY* Disorder) is that the OCD harbors an unhealthy fixation upon RITUALS (hand washing, touching a stove's 'off' button exactly 32 times, etc etc), while the OCPD has an unhealthy fixation upon PERFECTIONISM (or rather, their own disordered view of it). OCDs (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) often recognize that their compulsions to repeatedly fold and unfold their clothes or whatever are "off'. They know and understand that these behaviors aren't normal (which they wish to stop, but can't). The intrusive thoughts the OCD experiences are typically discomforting and unwelcome by them, causing stress -- as such, the OCD often willingly seeks professional help. However OCPD's are an entirely different story. OCPDs actually delight in coming up with lengthy mental lists of rules in their quest to achieve Perfection, all while savoring and basking in these regulations of their own making. They see nothing at all negative about it. In fact their rigidity, superior moral code and rule-making may even be a point of personal pride for them -- as they consider themselves 'efficiency' experts for example -- all while truly believing that the rest of the world is 'wrong' and in fact would be a much better place if we just followed the OCPD's most excellent example. The truth of the matter however, is that Perfectionism is impossible. But they of course can't handle that, so they strive to control every aspect of their lives, and of those around them, to keep everything up to their unreasonably high and impossible standards. As a result the OCPD gets very much mired in their quest for Perfectionism, while bringing misery to everyone else with their rigid behaviors, unrelenting black-and-white thinking and heightened sense of morality. Sound familiar??? When dealing with them ,it's always the OCPD's "way or the highway". Failure to achieve Perfectionism brings out their absolute worst -- they are always, always 'right', and they definitely have no patience or generosity in regards to the failings, or what THEY believe to be the failings at least, of others. Like I said, they are the ultimate control freaks....

So I'll leave a few links to get you started, but I do encourage you, just for fun and giggles, to look into OCPD more thoroughly...:

At 4/21/2017 09:16:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


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