After a long, hard day's work, I finally get to go to bed. I've been asleep for about an hour, when the Wife comes in. She makes a lot of noise in preparation for going to bed. See, the cleaning lady comes tomorrow, so we have to make sure the house is clean. Anyway, I am half asleep, but unbeknownst to me, I am getting the third degree. She, in her rapid fire way, asks, "What did you do, when you got home?" "Why didn't you put up the laundry, the dishes,etc." Meanwhile, I am laying there thinking, "What the hell is going on?" I even ask her twice is there a problem?
A little background information to help set the scene is in order. I work about ten hours a day in a rather stressful occupation which is also my own business. Wife is a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). Each day I get myself and our three kids up, ready and dropped off at school. Wife lays in bed. She might be conscious, when I leave (most times not). We have hired a cleaning woman to come every other week to clean the house; my dress clothes (for work) are sent to a laundry (no ironing); she never cooks; and we rarely have any food in the house.
Because of last fight, I went to this website and downloaded this questionnaire. We each filled it out. She basically said that I don't communicate with her and don't listen to her. Fair enough. I'd say that was a pretty fair assessment, and I am working to improve. My answers revealed that she doesn't show me admiration and does not provide for my domestic needs. She took great umbrage to me saying that she doesn't provide for my domestic needs. We argued for a long time about that. Wife could never really see the light.
So now it is very late (or very early depending on one's point of view). I am pissed off. I am unable to go back to sleep, yet Wife is sound asleep. I was rudely awoken out of a sound sleep and grilled about my activities tonight. When asked why she was home so late from a cooking class, Wife answered they stayed around talking about ghosts. When asked why she didn't call to let me know what's up, she answered that she didn't want to seem rude by leaving the conversation. Lame.
A lot of the blogs I read talk about the lack of physical intimacy, and that is important. In a marriage, there are other things that just as important.
The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven. The Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis
5 comments:
She is a walking contradiction.
But I digress.
I wish I had it like her. Honestly, I do. I'm sure many people wish they had it like her, actually. I'll never understand how these women find men who want them in every way possible and make their lives pretty easy and I'm stuck with... well, you know.
Okay, I understand that people often underestimate how much SAHMs have to do, and they don't get the credit they deserve. I try to tell my wife how much I appreciate what she does with our kids and with our house.
But all of your kids are in school? She doesn't really cook, and you have a cleaning woman? I'm not quite sure what basis she would even have in an argument with you about "domestic needs."
This seems horribly rude, but perhaps she needs to log what she's doing in an average day, to see if she spends 10 hours per day on "domestic" type things.
When asked why she was home so late from a cooking class, Wife answered they stayed around talking about ghosts. When asked why she didn't call to let me know what's up, she answered that she didn't want to seem rude by leaving the conversation. Lame.
God I know how that is. When my wife was in school she was extremely late one night. She should have been home by 10 at the latest.At 1 AM I stated to call the CHP to see if they could look for her. She ended up coming home at 1:45. Her excuse? "I was talking with my classmates and lost track of time. and forgot to call you on my cell. I'm tired and dont want to talk abnout it. Good night."
I totally agree with your last paragraph. 110%
CH
Maybe I'm just very old-fashioned but here goes: I'm a stay-at-home wife and mother. My husband works long, hard hours in two jobs. This is what I do: Awaken him, (at six-forty-five a.m.) fix breakfast, lay out his clothes. Then, the kids get up and start breakfast. I do almost all the cooking, (Sunday pancakes are a treat cooked by my husband.) Laundry, cleaning, shopping, budgeting, except for the really *heavy* stuff (floor waxing, spring cleaninng) I do all my myself with occasional help. I take clothes to the cleaner, etc. The house is my "sphere of influence" and I'm not the best housekeeper in the world, but I make up for it with my cooking and laundry and budgeting skills! *heehee* I also act as my husband's assitant in his consulting business, mostly weekend work. It's very relaxed around here but I know my responsibilities and keep up with them.
I have never understood, when a wife stays at home, the idea the husband is supposed to do half the housework. It's just not fair.
she's taking a cooking class but she never cooks for your family? And its ok for her to not call you because she doesnt want to be rude to her classmates but its ok to be rude to you and its also not ok for you not to call her? One sided.
Post a Comment