Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Digging up the Past


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Well, last night was spent examining my past sex life prior to being married to Sybil. There's nothing like being under a microscope and/or being dissected for something that happened over 13 years ago. Like a lot of young people, I was a bit of a hedonist. However, I still had my morals and values. At least compared to many people I was around. Since Sybil had only 2 sex partners prior to me (although apparently they screwed like rabbits), she doesn't understand how I could be so shallow. This is especially in regards to my view on oral versus vaginal sex. As I stated before, I had the notion that oral sex (or any other contact other than vaginal) was, to me, less intimate than vaginal. The risks of pregnancy alone meant that vaginal sex was to be done only in a committed relationship. I can count on one hand the number of women I had vaginal intercourse with prior to marrying Sybil. However, she lumps all sex to the same level of intimacy. Let' s be clear: I was not some slut running around bagging every babe I could. For the most part, I could usually be found in a committed relationship. So last night I endured a two hour long interrogation into my past sexual proclivities. Fun stuff!

It started with her hearing from one of her girlfriends about some happenings at the local middle school. Apparently, some of the kids play a game called "rainbow." The idea is to get as many different shades of lipstick on a guys penis from as many girls as possible. She also learned about "tossed salad." The whole thing was both fascinating and repulsive to her. Sybil has a hard time understanding how people can be so blase about oral sex. These kids were going so far as to have anal sex to maintain virginity.

This led to the deep discussion of my rough and rowdy past. However, the biggest thing was the fact I couldn't remember the first time I had sex with my girlfriends (there were four of them). I told her that it was a long time ago for me, and I had closed that chapter of my life. I had chosen not to remember those days. She couldn't believe I had forgotten that. Next thing I know, she says, "If we ever got divorced, you'll probably forget ours too." Now, I haven't forgotten our first time. I even described it to her. Of course, I couldn't help thinking, "If we get divorced, I'm going to try to forget as much as I can." I doubt me saying that would have helped my cause.

Never a dull moment with Sybil.

3 comments:

So Gone Over You said...

If I were her, I'd be happy you couldn't remember your "first times" with other people. I don't think it means that they weren't special or important to you at the time, but rather that they aren't that special or important to you now that you are in a relationship with someone else.

By the way, she'd shit if she heard about mine, My Boyfriend's or The Talker's pasts.

aphron said...

Alas, she probably would. Personally, I think she tends to "overthink" things. But, she thinks I don't think enough. C'est la vie.

Lori said...

No I don't think that line would've helped you at all...LOL...At least it's not dull!!!

Have a great day!!!