Monday, July 18, 2005

Bad News

Things are civil here. Wife may have a sense that not everything is peachy. She has been especially nice to me. Going out of her way to say thank you for little things. I'm still trying to come to grips with being told that I do nothing right, in her eyes. Although I wish it were said in the heat of passion, I know that is how she feels. There is no middle ground. Grading is not done on a curve. One bad incident will wipe out 10 good ones. I'm still trying to come to terms with it. I'm not at a good place in my marriage. Basically, it is something that I will have to live with. The knowledege of being a failure in my wife's eyes is very depressing.

The Bad News is Wife's pap results. She will have to go in for a freezing procedure in a couple of weeks. She'd had a Leap (?) done a couple of years ago. The OB/GYN has been keeping a close watch on her. Although we may have some serious problems, life would not be easy or good without Wife. Hopefully, this will not lead to cervical cancer in the future.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's test results. Hoping things turn out fine!!!

Glad, however, to hear that she's at least treating you a little better... if only for now.

aphron said...

Thanks for the encouragement. It is very stressful in our house (not just because of our relationship issues). This was something we didn't need now.

Anonymous said...

You and your wife is in my thoughts. It's a pretty bad feeling when you feel like a failure in your spouse's eyes. I think hubs nd I both have made each other feel like that. I hope it's realy not the way she feels overall. I go through periods where I feel that about hubs, and then something opens my eyes... reminds me that I tend to place expectations on him that are unrealistic... that he is human and has his failings... just like me. That doesn't make him a failure... it makes him human... a human that is maturing, learning, and growing every day... and I love him. I love him for who he is, and who he wants to become. I hope something opens your wife's eyes up... and I hope it's soon.