Can I Get a Ruling?

Things were going along too well. Last night we (I say we; she says me) decided to screw it up.

Wife had her Bunco night last night, which meant she would not get home until after midnight. No big deal. She asked me to call XYZ student loan company to get some information regarding problems we have been having with them and some other information. I do that, and some other things she asked me to do. Although she had been home nearly all day, I brought food home for me and the kids. I put all of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I went to bed about 11:30.

Wife came in about 12:45 am. She sounded happy and crawled into bed. She starts making a move on me. Now, I'm half asleep but I'm into it. A little groggy maybe but into it. Just as things were getting interesting, she asks me about the conversation with XYZ company. So much for being in the mood. I figure this is going to be a long conversation and get pretty irritated. I'm not mad per se, but I'm not happy either. We get into a discussion. No sex. The last thing she says, "I would have still done it, if you hadn't acted that way." She proceeds to go to sleep. This pisses me off. If she hadn't brought up the damn subject, I would not have gotten mad. I feel this is a spiteful comment. It was made to get the last word. I get to sleep around 1:30, even though I have to get up less than 5 hours later.

At lunch, I try to talk to her about it. I tell her that comment was out of line and a mean thing to say. She says, "Well, I wouldn't have said it, if you hadn't been rude last night." I explain that it was totally normal response. She tells me she just wanted to know, if I talked to the company, not have a long drawn out conversation. Normally, she is a detail person and needs all of the details. How the heck am I supposed to know this? She says I cut her off before she had a chance to explain. I explain that I was irritated by the bringing up of a complex subject in the middle of possible coitus. I explain I think that was a totally normal response. Anyway, we have a major blow out during lunch. She wants me to understand that I was a jerk for cutting her off and being understanding. I want her to understand her last comment was mean and spiteful. I do understand her point, but does she understand why I was acting like that and why I am irritated? Maybe. She did apologize, and then says she just had to get it out there in case she forgot. She keeps saying that she just wanted to touch base on the issue, and I blew it out of proportion. I say look at the situation and tell me am I not justified in my irritation? She does not see that her comment was spiteful and will not apologize.

I know I can be an asshole. She doesn't seem to know she can be a bitch.

Question: Should I have let that comment go?
Question: Am I justified or not in my irritation?
Question: Was her comment said in spite?