Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Women's Peak...Fact or Fantasy?

Conventional wisdom says that males hit their sexual peak around 18 years old, and women hit theirs around 35 years old. I always joked that that was one of God's jokes. I remember being in my late teens early twenties and being ready to go at the mere suggestion.

In this post by ZGD63, he contemplates this and compares his libido to his wife's. When I read it, I thought, "Preach on, brotha!" After having several frank discussions with Wife, I have come to the painful conclusion that we are very different, sexually speaking. I'm not just talking about frequency, but also techniques. She has no wild fantasies, no kinky desires, etc. that much she has told me. Now, I find this hard to believe. To me, it is very natural to have these thoughts and desires. So, does that make me perverted or her inhibited? I think it is a combination of the two.

Women, generally, are more complex, especially emotionally. If Wife is having a bad day, she is totally not into me or sex. The cleaning of the house, taking care of the kids, etc. doesn't work. What works is spend all of my time listening and talking to her. In comparison, unless I am bone tired, all she has to do is look at me. Never mind parading around the bedroom in a G-string. Therefore, I have to believe my libido is much higher than hers, based on the amount of work that has to be done to get into the mood.

The interesting thing is that after 12 years of marriage, she is still rather prudish in comparison to me. I truly think it has a lot to do with our formative years. She was sheltered during her upbringing. She rarely had dates in high school and had only two serious boyfriends before me. To this day, she is very naive. During my upbringing, I was exposed to pornography, had three times as many girlfriends, and had a more varied sex life. I tend to think this has a lot to do with it. As for pornography, I get the impression that she would watch it but would never admit to it.

So to the question at hand, in my experience it is total fallacy to believe that a man's libido decreases with age and woman's increases. Of course this is a generality, but, based on the blogs I read, there are more men desperately wanting not only a wife but also a sexual partner as well (lady in public and whore in the bedroom). Maybe, it boils down to people are never satisfied with what they have?


cmhl said...

I have found it to be true in my situation that the sexual drive unfortunatly like a teeter-totter. if he is up (20's), I was down, now that I am up (30's) he is down. I think he is so used to being turned down, he is surprised that I am wanting to do it now...

hit me at about 36..

Anonymous said...

If my husband's sex drive is going to diminish over time, I'm in trouble.

aphron said...

My wife once remarked that her sex drive is higher than mine. Yet, she lets little things (like did I notice if the cleaning lady got the mildew in the shower) interrupt that drive. Due to her personality, we rarely have sex because nothing else is to her satisfaction. Therefore, the stress created cause less sex. On the other hand, I am able to let that go and think about having sex.

ZGD63 said...

(sigh) It's a little dissapointing to find out that this is a myth. I was REALLY looking forward to my wife becoming more active and enthusiastic about sex.

"Well ready to party?"

Dewdrop said...

It's fantasy - seriously who thinks that sort of stuff up, eh? Just my opinion of course :).