Comment

Danica was nice enough to post to my last entry:

Can you tell me in your own words how your wife giving you MORE blowjobs would help her control you??? I need to hear a man say it so I can tell the next one. If you read my post on silence, you would understand why I need this information. Please oh please!!!!
Have you told her what a blowjob means to you?

She is so fortunate to have you. Gee wiz!

I decided to answer that in an entry rather than a comment.

I've expressed to Wife how much I enjoy BJs; I've been verbal during the act; and I even expressed my undying gratitude afterwards. It comes back to the same thing: she does not want me expecting to get a BJ and therefore, taking her for granted.

May be the real issue is Wife feeling like I take her for granted. She has said so during our conversations. Do I? Probably. That is part of being married. Taking someone for granted is not necessarily bad. It means I can depend on her for certain things. I bring coffee to her every morning. If I don't, she'll probably at least wonder why. She's taking me for granted. Anyone, who has read this blog, can see she does take me for granted in not so innocuous ways, so a few more BJs isn't uncalled for, right?

When I was in college, I dated a girl, who loved to 69 and even swallowed. That is every guy's dream come true (sorry Danica). She dumped me. That's ok. The problem with previous sexual experiences is that I want to take all of the good parts and incorporate them into my relationship now. It doesn't work that way. The more I think upon it, the more I'm going to tell my kids that premarital sex isn't what it's cracked up to be. Ignorance is bliss. Bottom line: I love Wife, damnit. I have to let a lot go. Although it isn't anything weird or kinky, I will curtail it, because I am married to her.

Compatibility

A lot of the blogs I read speak of issues of sexual compatibility. The author writes about being with someone, who has different sexual tendencies. This is one area of conflict that is very personal and very difficult to resolve. It almost seems that we end up with a person incompatible in this arena. Why is that?

With Wife and me, we are close to being compatible with the only major exception being oral sex. Wife will give me blow jobs, although she likes to withhold them. She is afraid I would start expecting them. Maybe. I think it is a control issue. Wife tends to be a bit of a control freak (Duh, right?). She likes to dish BJs out as some kind of reward for being a good boy. Well, anyone reading much of this blog will correctly surmise that I ain't been gettin' any. I truly don't understand it, but I don't have the same control issues that she does. I keep hoping that she will realize that giving more BJs will help her control me. LOL! Anyway, Wife does play a mind game with the subject.

As for me performing on Wife, I love it. I can reach orgasm by just performing on her. Wife seems to enjoy it immensely. The problem is I almost have to "trick" her into it. I can't just use it as part of my foreplay bag o' tricks. Actually, she's not much into foreplay. I think it goes back to her control issues. She is afraid of losing control. Wife will only allow it, if she is in the mood. Anyone that reads this blog will see that is rare.

The answer to the question is that love is more important than sex. We love people that are different than us. They can really drive us nuts with their issues. Love is the overriding factor. We can put up with a lot of disappointment and frustration in the name of love. But still, I would like more oral sex.

I'm starting to feel like this mouse. I try to fight it, but sometimes it just doesn't work. 

Change

Can people change? Can a leopard change its spots? I'm not sure. Wife and I, as anyone reading this blog can see, seem to keep going over the same ground over and over. She stays irritated at me for comments I make (or don't make); I stay irritated at her for being irritated at me. We are definitely different in many ways. She is a very detailed analytical person. She thinks about nuance. I, on the other hand, am much more of a big picture person. I really have to work to be detailed. I tend to say the first thing that pops into my mind. Invariably, this lands me in hot water.

Since the last post, things have gotten better. Wife did forgive me. Of course, we had to have a long talk into the wee hours of the morning. Who has to get up before the sun to get kids ready, self ready, and kids to school? Me. C'est la vie. Then she wonders why I'm so tired. She has no clue what it is like to survive on a consistent six hours of sleep.

Anyway, I do not believe people can really change. Just last night she gets irritated at me because she asked me what I thought of the Christmas card holder we used last year in the office. This was 11:30 pm, and I had been up since 6:30 am. I was tired. I said the first thing that crossed my mind, "I don't remember." She took umbrage to that, because I didn't even think for a few seconds before answering. OK, fine, whatever. The next morning she wondered why I didn't try to "get into her pants." She doesn't even realize what she does. But, neither do I. I continue to make the same mistakes with her as she does me.

The best anyone can hope for is to adapt to the situation. I must adapt to her and petty tirades. She must adapt to me and my verbal diarrhea. I think I can, but can she?

Forgiveness

One the greatest aspects of Christianity is the doctrine of forgiveness of sins. Jesus called us to forgive our brothers or we will not be forgiven. In this parable, Jesus talks of how we are called to keep forgiving those who do us wrong:

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[b] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

It does not matter how large or how small the transgression. We are instructed to forgive.

Forgiveness can be hard to do. There may be a lot of emotion tied into the hurt and anger. Letting go of that, for some, is next to impossible. This hurt takes on a life of its own. It grows and breathes and before one knows it, it takes over. By putting things into perspective and seeing the bigger picture, forgiving someone can be easier.

What about someone, who keeps on hurting me? It, simply, does not matter. We are supposed to forgive "not seven times, but seventy-seven times." In other words, we are to keep forgiving those who ask for it. Since we are all hopelessly flawed, we must forgive someone as another has forgiven us. We all go through life hurting others, either maliciously or inadvertently. Since we expect to be forgiven by that person and God for our transgressions and sins, we must forgive others theirs no matter what.

I bring all of this up because a successful marriage will need forgiveness. It can be needed from leaving the seat up to adultery. If one person in the marriage feels that he/she can no longer forgive, then it is in trouble. I fear that Wife is at this point. With my "foot in mouth disease" I am always saying the wrong thing. Sunday night, after much discussion, I said, "Alright, since you don't enjoy my mother visiting and it will be a stressful time, I'll tell her not to come." She, rightfully, say this as shifting the blame/guilt onto her. A huge fight ensued, and I apologized and asked for forgiveness. Two days later she is still barely speaking to me. They say time heals all wounds, but have I gone too far? What character flaw do I have to find the most assholish comment possible and say it? How can I over come this flaw? How do I get Wife to be a little more patient and understanding? Am I just screwed? Is she most of the problem? Does she need a pill? Do I need a pill?

Stress

Man, how stressed out Wife and I are! I've known about it for a long time, but it is starting to really create problems with intimacy. We find ourselves sniping at each other, easy to anger and generally no fun to be around.

Last night I managed to cause her to become quite angry (to the point of 30 solid minutes of her yelling at me). We about to move into a new building for the office. The stress created by the planning, construction, and then the decorating has been bubbling under the surface. Originally, my parents were invited to visit for Thanksgiving. Well, this is about the time we'll be moving into said new office. She was questioning whether or not to have her mother-in-law visit during this volatile time. I said, "Fine, I'll ask Mom not to come, since I know how much she stress you out." Wife went off. I had shifted all of the blame of the stress of guests onto her rather than seeing it as problem for both of us. During the drive home (with the kids in the back) she let me have it. She has a valid point. I apologized. However, she had to vent her frustration. It doesn't feel like venting; it feels like piling on. Anyway it wasn't good. I explained that I don't appreciate her yelling at me in front of the kids (not the first time she's done it). She came back with giving the kids realism as to marriage. No resolution there.

Stress does some amazing things physiologically, psychologically and emotionally. It frays the nerves. It becomes much easier to get angry. I cannot remember a time during our marriage where there was no stress. Neither outside nor inside. I'll be the first to admit that I am not fun to live with. I tend to be selfish (not mean spirited but literally thinking how a situation affects me first); I tend to be a poor communicator; I am very forgetful; the list goes on. However, I am the same, basic, person I was before I married Wife. Wife's biggest fault is lack of patience with me. She has a short fuse and will argue with a stump. She is stubborn to an extreme.

With these two flawed people, adding stress is like adding a match to tinder. A conflagration will occur. Wife does not want to think terms of stress creating problems. She feels that is a crutch, an excuse, for getting out of one's responsibility. While that may be true to an extent, stress does a lot of things, none good.

That is why it is important to have a chance to destress. It is important to find that activity that helps clear one's mind, at least for a short time. I hope Wife finds one.

Intimacy

The blogs I read all seem to have a running theme: intimacy. We are always searching for that connection with someone else. We want our spouses to be our most intimate partner. Some have a real challenge, while others don't. We go through spells where we feel very close to that special someone, and spells where we do not.

With Wife and me, we have our issues, like every couple. Thankfully, ours aren't so much in the bedroom. We enjoy sex for the sake of sex. Wife may actually want it to be a little quicker and rougher than me. I enjoy giving her multiple orgasms and trying to prolong things as long as possible. The trick is to find that middle ground. Sometimes that can be a real trick. Our issue tends to be our slightly differing views on sex. She tends to be more straightforward. I tend to want role playing and some variety. Our biggest difference is oral sex. She really has no qualms about performing it on me. But, she does have issues about having it performed. I think she is uneasy about that areas differing aromas. I have tried to convince her that in that regard she is perfect. She will allow cunninglingus on her, but she has to be in the mood. Wife does tend to see me as slightly kinky. I guess I am. Doesn't every man have fantasies about his wife in a Catholic school girl uniform with the skirt, socks, and plaid shirt? Is that just me?

Our problems with intimacy come outside of the bedroom. Any part time reader sees that we have our disagreements. She and I are very stubborn people. She can be especially passionate. That, at times, leads to breakdown in intimacy. We try to talk our way through it, and we usually succeed. It is very difficult. Being intimate was much easier while we were in the dating phase. We didn't have three kids, a business, a mortgage, etc. Life is very complicated and that stress spills over into our relationship. It can be very hard to keep it all in perspective. For us, we have started spending so much time shuttling children from activity to activity that there is so little time and energy for us. It has started to affect my libido.

We all are searching for and trying to maintain intimacy. It can be a real struggle. When we are left alone from that intimacy, we feel like an empty place is in our heart. All any of us can do is take it one day at a time.

Another Weekend from Hell

Another big fight with Wife this weekend. Although I have accepted blame, responsibility, and apologized profusely, that is not enough. Wife employs her "scorched earth" brand of arguing. Although she may win the argument by using this policy, she may lose in the end. When she does something and apologizes, that is the end of it (in her mind), yet I am not given the same courtesy. Last night at ~midnight, I finally gave up trying to convince her of my sincerity and went to sleep. After being up for seventeen hours with a good portion spent arguing, I was too damned tired to fight. I'm tired of it. After giving many pounds of flesh, I'm not sure I have anything left to give.

Disney: Is it the AntiChrist?

Took the family to see Disney Incredibles on Ice. It was ok. This was the first ice show I had been to. I appreciate the skaters' abilities. The routines were great. It was definitely geared towards the kids, especially pre-middle school. The problem is this: the pressure put on the parents to buy crap at the event. There were dozens of kiosks set up hawking items, which were over priced and cheaply made. Naturally, the children were wanting some things. Wife asked to buy some snacks and a drink. We had just eaten, but I grumbled my ok. I was in a constant state of amazement at the amount of stuff for sale.

On the way home, Wife asked me how I liked it. I said the opening part was kind of stupid (a grown up was trying to act cool and overdoing it), otherwise I liked it. She tore into me telling me that I ruined the kids' experience, because I would not let them spend a lot of money on stuff. I couldn't believe she actually had the gall to say it. As it was, we spent over $50 on a drink, cotton candy, bucket of popcorn, and a "claw" toy. Am I being unreasonable? I think not.

The next day we continued our discussion, since I was too tired to really talk the night before. She was pissed about me not broaching the subject Sunday morning. She purposefully made us VERY late for church, just to prove a point. I asked her when did she started playing games. Wife wasn't playing a game; it was a tactic to prove her point. Yeah, right. I guess two wrongs DO make a right. Also, I explained that talking about an incident is not a quick talk with her. It lasts hours. Am I going to start a long conversation in the morning? No. I'll wait until we have time to hash it out.

I blame Disney. They managed to suck Wife into their consumerism frenzy. Also, can I take down the last post? I don't feel that way anymore.

And Now For Something Completely Different

It seems all of my posts are negative about Wife. After reading them, why should I stay married? Well, I love her. There, I said it. Although she has many traits that annoy and frustrate me, she has many admirable traits. She is kind to a fault, generous, hard working, and loving (in her way). She may tend to be control freakish, but I owe her a lot. Without her, I would not be in the socioeconomic status that I am.

So...I'm going to try to modify this blog. I don't want it to be just about my problems with Wife. When I first started this blog, I wanted to jot down my frustrations about marriage. While I may still have them, I know there is no better alternative for me. Digger goes down the laundry list of possibilities, as I have in my mind. None are palatable. I must live with choice I made to love Wife. I must take her, warts and all. And, after 13 years of being together, she still makes my breath catch in my lungs. I still lust after her. I come in contact with many people during the day at my office, but I still truly lust after Wife. It's almost scary.

This brings me to my point. I have deep seeded desires that she cannot/will not fulfill. I think certain aspects of my psyche must remain in the dark. Sex seems to be constantly on my mind. Not sex with strangers, but sex with Wife. There was a month last year, when she was insatiable. We were doing everything within reason (no midgets or third parties but good not clean fun). I miss that month. I miss her text messaging me to ask for sex. During that time she performed oral sex numerous times, I miss that. We are back to the drudgery of missionary position: quick satisfaction, yet leaves me wanting more, different, better. Is this dangerous? Am I perverted? Or are couples destined to attach themselves to people who have differing sexual proclivities? The blogs I read seem to support this. What a cruel twist of fate.

Taming the Shrew?

The saga continues with Lil' Bro. His pending divorce has my household in an uproar. Although I think he is being a total jerk, that is his and his wife's business. Wife, unfortunately, does not see it that way. She wants my parents to go in with a heavy hand and talk some sense into the boy. She cajoles me into calling him and emailing him. All for the sake of his two year old son. The problem is I agree with her. Divorce should be "weapon" of last resort. He chose not to do that. He chose to leave his wife and child.

The problem is my parents. They have spoken with Brother and let him know they against his decision. That is not good enough for Wife. She wants them to harangue him until he understands and changes his ways. The one thing that is constant in my family is stubbornness. Brother will not change his mind. If anything, it will strengthen his resolve. I know that, parents know that, Wife refuses to see that. So I am in the middle. I'm the one that gets to bear the brunt of her anger and frustration for a situation that will not affect us one iota. I have explained that to her. I have explained that my talking to Brother will not change his mind. Unfortunately, I am weak, when it comes to Wife. After two phone conversations and two emails, Brother writes back to say he will be spending Thanksgiving with other people. Great! A few days later I get an email from my parents saying I hurt Brother's feelings and to lay off.

The frustrating thing is Wife. She refuses to let it go. She chooses to continue to beat the dead horse. I tell her over and over, ad nauseum, that my parents will not intercede. They, rightfully to some degree, see Brother as an adult living his own life. I feel we should have spoken to Brother once or twice and then let him lie in the bed he made. Wife refuses to back down. I'm sure this will only add to the resentment she already feels towards Mother. The fundamental problem is mine and Wife's upbringing was very different. Parents did not confront Brother and I too much, whereas, her family would have loooong conversations about every single problem. Wife expects my family to suddenly go from closed and non-confrontational to suddenly open and confrontational. She refuses to see that the scorpion never changes.

I thought that moving far away from the family would insulate me. Wrong.

Taming the Shrew?

The saga continues with Lil' Bro. His pending divorce has my household in an uproar. Although I think he is being a total jerk, that is his and his wife's business. Wife, unfortunately, does not see it that way. She wants my parents to go in with a heavy hand and talk some sense into the boy. She cajoles me into calling him and emailing him. All for the sake of his two year old son. The problem is I agree with her. Divorce should be "weapon" of last resort. He chose not to do that. He chose to leave his wife and child.

The problem is my parents. They have spoken with Brother and let him know they against his decision. That is not good enough for Wife. She wants them to harangue him until he understands and changes his ways. The one thing that is constant in my family is stubbornness. Brother will not change his mind. If anything, it will strengthen his resolve. I know that, parents know that, Wife refuses to see that. So I am in the middle. I'm the one that gets to bear the brunt of her anger and frustration for a situation that will not affect us one iota. I have explained that to her. I have explained that my talking to Brother will not change his mind. Unfortunately, I am weak, when it comes to Wife. After two phone conversations and two emails, Brother writes back to say he will be spending Thanksgiving with other people. Great! A few days later I get an email from my parents saying I hurt Brother's feelings and to lay off.

The frustrating thing is Wife. She refuses to let it go. She chooses to continue to beat the dead horse. I tell her over and over, ad nauseum, that my parents will not intercede. They, rightfully to some degree, see Brother as an adult living his own life. I feel we should have spoken to Brother once or twice and then let him lie in the bed he made. Wife refuses to back down. I'm sure this will only add to the resentment she already feels towards Mother. The fundamental problem is mine and Wife's upbringing was very different. Parents did not confront Brother and I too much, whereas, her family would have loooong conversations about every single problem. Wife expects my family to suddenly go from closed and non-confrontational to suddenly open and confrontational. She refuses to see that the scorpion never changes.

I thought that moving far away from the family would insulate me. Wrong.

Long Time No Post

Well, I've probably lost what little readership I had due to lack of posting. Oh well, I'll get over it.

The big new thing is my stoopid brother. It seems he wants to get a divorce. He tells me he has not been happy for a long time. He may have been unhappy with his wife during the engagement. Unfortunately, he was such a coward that he chose to get married and have a kid before deciding he really didn't want to be married. What an asshole. My parents are basically in denial. They don't want to push him for fear of alienating him. I sent two emails and had two phone conversations with him. He said he would consider counseling before taking that final step. He then sent me an email saying he would rather spend Thanksgiving with friends than have to see me. Well, excuuuuse me! I'll admit I wouldn't want other people telling what to do, but I'm not contemplating warping my kid and leaving the woman I took a vow to love and cherish. Of course, Wife has gone ape of this. She is totally against divorce for any reason. That's probably why she has stayed with me. Anyway, she has talked to Brother's wife and gotten all of the scoop. Brother came home, told his wife he didn't love her, and started packing. AND, during the conversations with him telling me he would consider counseling, he had previously talked to a lawyer. So much for thinking about it. The little shit had already decided way before telling anyone. Besides his son, he will suffer too. Since he has Type I diabetes, he runs a high risk of needing medical care. Which means mom, dad, or Big Brother.

Otherwise everything is all right. I got in trouble for telling a female colleague on the phone, in front of Wife, "smell you later" instead of "see you later" as I hung up the phone. Now, I am no innocent, but I never thought of that phrase in a sexual context. Naturally, Wife blew a gasket. I feel terrible. I apologized profusely and have vowed not to use that phrase again. Ironically, I heard from a guy friend of mine as he got off the phone with me, and I think I heard it on a kid's movie. I remember which one. Things are better now. In fact, with exception of that tiff, we are the best we've been in a long time.

I'll keep posting, but work schedule may not allow for regular posting for some time. Things really get busy for me until around Christmas. I still plan to read everyone else's Blogs.

Stress

Yesterday I had to fire one of my employees. I really didn't want to do it. I had given her many chances to shape up, but she chose to resent me. If you think my posting was less, it'll be lesser now with work becoming overwhelming.

The kids are back in school, which means we're even busier. We seem to have become, in a way, the overindulgent parent. We're not home any during the week with soccer, scouts, baseball, etc. By the time 10:00 rolls around, I'm barely conscious. Chronic fatigue is not good.

As for the Wife and me, we're doing ok. We had a blow-up Friday night. I even said may be these big emotional blow-ups are hormone related. Apparently, I'm an asshole. Oh well, things are fine now. I really think it is the hormonal roller coaster is winding down for another 3 weeks.

I still plan to read everyone's blogs and post my thoughts...when I have time.

Free Writing

Everthing here is peachy. Getting a lot sex. It may be a little vanilla, but like pizza there is no bad sex, just better sex.

No real fights with Wife. We've been doing really well, since our last conflagration.
Kids are back to school.

After reading several blogs with people having marital strife, I know everyone has it. I hope everyone will strive to work through it. It is worth it. It takes a helluva a lot of work.

The huricane thing is bugging me. I have another blog that is political. I quit writing in it some time ago, because I got sick and tired of the whole charade. However, George Bush did not cause the huricane, allow the looting or cause the flooding in New Orleans. In order of responsibility is the mayor and then the governor. They both sat with their thumbs up their ass doing little until it was too late. I did not vote for GWB. He is not my favorite president. People get over it. Do you REALLY want the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT to do everything for you? You can't have it both ways. Having the Federal Government doing things on a local level also means having the Federal Government prying in areas that it shouldn't. Besides, name me one time the Federal Government got it right. Can't. Too many politicians involved at that level. The mayor is in charge of the city. He should be in charge/responsible for its well being.

I feel better now. I know I started this blog as a way to vent about my situation. I'll try to stick to that in the future.

Something to chew on

In this post by doctor digger, he goes over what many men grapple with. Essentially, men have a hard time expressing how they feel. From an early age, men are taught to "suck it up." Emotional men are looked down upon by everyone. Since men cannot verbalize their needs, they rarely get met. Women do a very good job of verbalizing their needs, so their needs tend to take center stage.

What is the answer? I don't know. After twelve years of marriage, we have far from a perfect marriage. Actually, there are times I feel we are sliding backwards. I do know I love Wife, and I know she loves me. For now that has to be enough.

Loss of Innocence

Around 5:30 am Son #1 lost his innocence. As I was trying to exchange a dollar for a baby tooth, he awoke and caught me. This is going to be an interesting year for him and us. He enters sixth grade this year, and we all know the changes that occur this year. For now we will have to deal with not believing in the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, etc. He will become a little more cynical and little more jaded. The little boy will slowly disappear. I was hoping for a little more time.

BTW, if he ruins it for his younger siblings, he will be in a world of hurt! LOL!

I'm Still Here

It's been a whole week! It must mean things are going well with Wife and me. Well, they are. Got the kids registered and back into school, so things are really becoming hectic.

I'd like other's feedback on the issue of parenting styles. For instance, yesterday was the first day of school. As I was dropping off the children at their respective schools, I noticed the parents parking, getting out of their cars and walking their children into school. This was not just at the primary school, but also at the intermediate and middle schools. Heck, even today parents were still going in with their children. Personally, I understand going, if the child is in kindergarten and maybe first grade. However, by the time of third grade and beyond isn't it time to cut the chord? My parenting style may need a little bit of work: I, essentially, pushed my first grader out the car door, in order to get the other two to their schools (at each child's drop off I waited just long enough for them to get out and then I moved along).
Is it me or are parents coddling their children? Aren't kids allowed to fall down and scrape their knee? Aren't children allowed to fail? Today's parents are trying to be Uber-parents, and they produced stressed out kids.

So Much to Do So Little Time

Light blogging for now...too busy with work and all.

Wife got her results on her biopsy yesterday. Everything is fine. Unfortunately, brother-in-law (also OB/GYN) wants to see her records to double check, so the pot keeps being stirred. Labs always have "false positives" on screenings, so no one will fall through the cracks. Developing...

Thank Goodness THAT Week Is Over

Last week was a long week for Wife and me. The kids were at my parents' house. Instead of taking advantage of a week with no kids, we decided to have a series of arguments. Everything, basically, centered around me not being sensitive to what she has to say, and her not being sensitive to what I have to say. In the end everything has worked out very well. We have made up (on a number of occasions :)). Hopefully, we have moved past the resentment we have built up with each other. We'll have to see. It is amazing how hard it is to keep little things from becoming a huge issue. Communication is a huge key, everyone knows it, but it is hard to stand back and not become defensive. It was being defensive that was causing a lot of problems for us. It is a shame that we wasted a whole week.

At the risk of sounding like a pig, it did not help that Wife was on her period. I still believe that one week out of the month I need to hide somewhere.

Also, her biopsy went well. We'll have to wait on the results.